for Blue / Ronan

[iwasmore]

Noah existed in the grocery store, which didn't make much sense seeing as he couldn't eat. Sometimes he bought food for the ducks, or a surprise snack for Krem, but beyond that the grocery store was a useless place for him to visit. He felt the pull of a friend nearby, and maybe that had brought him there. He started searching the aisles, but got distracted by a display for Oreos - he missed Oreos - and nearly ran, bodily, right into someone. "Sorry!"

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[iwasmore]

"Aw, but it was love at first sight. I thought it was romantic," Noah says, giggling at Blue's spinning. He doesn't mind being the fairy godmother. It probably involves glitter, and he's all about that.

"Pansexual? I don't get it," he says, stopping his perusal of the fruit section to look at her. He was genuinely confused. How could you be neither?

[formicine]

"Okay, it's a little romantic," she says, concedingly. "But I mean. Basically we're saying it's a good idea to marry someone because they're hot." She's been told she had a true love since she was a toddler, but though she assumes at this point that must be true, she can't say it makes much sense practically. And she hadn't even really liked Gansey when she first met him.

She grins. "Pan, like all. Not like kitchen utensils. Like..." She stops to think. "Pan-Asian. Or...pantheism." She leans her hip against the shelf. "Sexually attracted to all genders. Some people like the word better than bisexual because there are people who aren't men or women." She doesn't know how to explain that. They just are. "I mean, they might biologically be look like one or another, but that's not who they are inside."

[iwasmore]

"Marriage is extreme," Noah agrees. It was just a cartoon, though. "But I don't think having strong feelings for someone has to take a long time. Sometimes it just happens."

Sometimes you acclimate yourself into a friendship with someone who lived because you died, and someone who's extremely rough around the edges, and you love them in no time at all. Sometimes you meet a boy who lives with abuse and works himself to the bone to rise above it, and it takes no time at all to love him. Sometimes you meet a girl who lives in a house full of psychics with energy so strong you don't dare go near them, but whose energy is just as strong in a different way, and you love her immediately. Sometimes you meet a boy who's scared of you, and fall in love with him somewhere between adopting a dead cat and shotgunning elfroot. Cinderella had one dance. Sometimes it's enough.

Noah's eyebrows shoot up at Blue's explanation. He leans forward, into her space. "You mean like transgender?"

[formicine]

She smiles thoughtfully, and thinks about how quickly she'd found herself entirely wrapped up, life lit up by her raven boys -- obsessed, Orla had said dismissively, and it isn't untrue, in some ways -- and glances at Noah.

She hadn't known him more than a handful of weeks when she'd been determinedly moving his body back to the leyline so he could be himself again. She hasn't known any of them a whole year, yet, but she can't imagine her life without them.

"It's true," she says, and picks up an orange. "Lots of things just happen, I guess."

Blue laughs at Noah's expression and the way he leans forward, giving him a bemused look. "Yeah," she says, "Like that." She tilts her head, curious about why he's so interested. "I mean, there are a lot of transgender people who are men or women. Some just aren't. I guess it's all tied up together, though. I mean, it all goes back to the idea that your body parts and you are different things."

Somehow that seems like it makes more sense, saying to Noah.

[iwasmore]

"Hmmm." Noah thinks about that, and how it applies to Krem. Krem hasn't gone too in depth with Noah, really, about his experience being transgender. He's mentioned a few things, and Noah thinks he has a fair enough idea of it, but he's sure there's so much more to learn. He doesn't want to push Krem to talk about it until he wants or needs to, though.

"I guess that's me. Pansexual," he says, trying the word out. It still sounds odd to him, but he supposes he'll get used to it.