"There was no change of heart, I just..." Noah shakes his head, taking the glass of wine from Freddie. What's he supposed to say? Any explanation is just going to make him sound more pathetic than he already does. "I never really meant it," he finally says, looking down at his wine. It's the truth. He'd been hurt, and tired of trying to justify himself and explain his own existence.

He glances up, his thoughts veering toward something he's been wondering. "Do you think I'm disgusting, now?" he asks. It's blunt, but he doesn't know a nicer way to say it.