"Does that mean you can never say never?" he asks, peeking an eye open and tipping his head down to give Noah a look. It's a deflection, an easy way of diverting an uncomfortable conversation, only Noah doesn't bite, his next statement threatening to send a panic through him.

He can only imagine the names Noah's heard in Freddie's head. Cliff and Henry, probably. Marcus. Sir. Christopher, even.

They're all names Freddie's tried to forget, people he's failed to put behind him. Because no matter where he goes, how far he runs, they're all still there, still taking up space in his head, still reminding him he's not worth shit.

Swallowing, he fights the unease boiling inside him, draws his legs up closer. "We've all got pasts, haven't we?" he says. "Is what it is?"