iwasmore | (no subject)

(no subject)

For the past two weeks Noah had been alternating between Hywel and Un Chat Gris. He hadn't wanted to go anywhere else, hadn't been able to muster the energy to visit anyone, to do...much of anything. He had no appetite, but it didn't matter, he didn't need to eat. What he didn't understand was why he was still so depressed; he made a choice because he thought it was what he needed, but maybe he was wrong. He kept rolling it over in his mind, again and again, wondering if all he'd done was made a terrible mistake.

He liked the cats at the café, they were a comfort. He'd let Prunam stay with Krem and he missed them both. For now, his shift was over, but he didn't leave just yet. Instead, he gathered a few cats and snuggled with them in one of the corner chairs, petting them until he could feel their rumbling purrs against his chest.

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"Good," Noah says, and he means it. Matthew had seemed so kind on the day they met, and he would have looked for him again if everything hadn't fallen apart.

"Who gave you work? If it's at a coffee shop I'll come visit you every day."

"At the stables, though I wouldn't have said no to the coffee shop." He has absolutely no experience with coffee, though. He's grown fond of it since arriving here, but he'd have no idea where to even start with making it.

The horses are more familiar, something tangible that he understands and can enjoy working with. Mostly he's charged with caring for them and cleaning the stable, and it can be hard work but it's rewarding and he loves it.

"With Eowyn?" Noah guesses. He's sure many people work there, but Eowyn is the only one he knows of, and he's sure they must have met by now at least.

"I think I'd rather work with animals than food, too. Uh, well, I guess that's why I work here," he says, feeling a little dumb.

"Aye," Matthew confirms. He wouldn't have gotten the job if it weren't for Eowyn, and he likes her a great deal. He's pleased that her and Noah seem to know each other. Matthew is still trying to get a feel for this place and the sheer amount of people who are here. "She told me about it and helped me get work there. She's been very kind."

Matthew glances around, petting a cat as it wanders past him. He didn't know Noah was here because of work, but it suits him, somehow. "Is everything alright?" he asks when he can't help it anymore. "You seem upset."

"Eowyn is very kind," Noah says quietly, and can't help thinking about the Eowyn he watched at the theater when he was younger, and what a truly strange place this is.

Noah's cheeks tinge pink with embarrassment. He knows he has a hard time keeping his emotions buried, hidden. He's so obvious. He's quiet for a long moment, trying to figure out how to say it. "My boyfriend and I broke up," he finally says, looking down at the cats on his lap instead of at Matthew. "I've just been..." He trails off, mouth twisting in a frown. "I'm trying to move forward."

For a moment Matthew considers telling him not to answer. He looks uncomfortable, and he feels like he's breached a kind of security wall, almost like he probed into his head without permission. He's reminded painfully of how it had felt when Dameon had always known what he was feeling, sometimes before Matthew himself worked it out.

"I'm sorry," Matthew says, and he is. He doesn't know who Noah's boyfriend is, and the term itself is only vaguely familiar to him, but he thinks he can put the threads together. He's heard the word used several times since he appeared here, and it seems a form of bonding, or as close as he can make out.

Matthew has never had a relationship end in a break up, but he does remember vividly the way his heart had broken when Cameo died, and he puts a reassuring hand on Noah's shoulder. "That must be hard. Is there anything I can do?"

Noah startles, and looks over at the mention of death. But he realizes it wasn't, that he's just hearing thoughts again, and he quickly hides a look of embarrassment at hearing something so personal. He clears his throat a little and shakes his head.

"No, thank you, there's nothing to really be done." He cracks a small smile. "Unless you have some sort of magical ability to make feelings go away."

Matthew feels him before he notices the look on Noah's face. His shields have been lacking in Darrow while he didn't really think there was so much need for them, but apparently he's been underestimating certain people. The look on Noah's face is familiar, like he's been caught eavesdropping on something he shouldn't. Matthew has seen that look on countless farseeker novices, and he smiles.

"You were in my head," he says quietly, knowing it's true without needing to think about it. "For just a moment, there." He thinks about the next thing Noah says. If Noah really wanted him to, he could coerce him, go into his mind and rearrange until he didn't feel that kind of sorrow anymore, but it would be tampering with his memories and he's sure that's not what the boy wants.

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