(no subject)

[iwasmore]

For the past two weeks Noah had been alternating between Hywel and Un Chat Gris. He hadn't wanted to go anywhere else, hadn't been able to muster the energy to visit anyone, to do...much of anything. He had no appetite, but it didn't matter, he didn't need to eat. What he didn't understand was why he was still so depressed; he made a choice because he thought it was what he needed, but maybe he was wrong. He kept rolling it over in his mind, again and again, wondering if all he'd done was made a terrible mistake.

He liked the cats at the café, they were a comfort. He'd let Prunam stay with Krem and he missed them both. For now, his shift was over, but he didn't leave just yet. Instead, he gathered a few cats and snuggled with them in one of the corner chairs, petting them until he could feel their rumbling purrs against his chest.

Comments

[farseek]

The concept of the cat cafe intrigued him. The only cat Matthew had really ever known was Maruman, who would walk over Blacklands before he allowed the indignity of Matthew cuddling him while he drank tea. With Elspeth, maybe, he might have allowed it, but certainly no one else.

The animals in the Beforetime intrigue him though. He's been thoroughly enjoying his work at the stables, getting to know the horses despite the lack of fingerspeech. These horses can't understand him like the ones at Obernewtyn could, but he thinks he's beginning to form a bond with them, regardless.

He'd overheard a couple of women talking about the cafe a week or so back, and he's passing by when he spots the place and figures it can't hurt to go and have a look.

Which is how he finds himself standing in the middle of Un Chat Gris, cats crawling around his ankles, not entirely sure what he's supposed to do with them.

[iwasmore]

Noah watches Matthew walk in, and a few of the most social cats go over to greet him. Most of the cats at the cafe are social, that's kind of this place's thing, but a few are particularly friendly. Noah calls them the Greeters, and he smiles faintly to see them do just that, and Matthew's responding look of confusion.

He catches Matthew's eye, and gives a small wave from underneath Furrosawa Akira and Juliet Catulet.

[farseek]

Curiously, Matthew reaches down to stroke the head of the closest cat to him, smiling when it starts to purr. Certainly more friendly than Maruman, he thinks, before he catches sight of Noah.

He remembers him from his first day, and while he's not really sure what the etiquette of this place is or if Noah really wants his company, he supposes there's only one way to find out. He probably wouldn't have waved if he didn't at least mind saying hello, so Matthew heads over to the corner and pulls up the chair beside him.

"Noah, yes? How are you?"

[iwasmore]

"Hi, Matthew," Noah says softly. "I'm okay." It's mostly a lie, but he doesn't know Matthew well enough to burden him with his emotional state. He doesn't want to make it uncomfortable.

"How are you settling in? I hope you're doing okay with the Lud-damned cars," he says with the hint of a teasing smile.

[farseek]

Noah doesn't really look okay, he looks miserable. Matthew doesn't need to be an empath to be able to see the look on his face, and he frowns. He doesn't want to push, he doesn't know Noah well enough to needle him for his secrets, but he's concerned all the same.

"I'm adjusting okay," he says, and it's the truth. He has a job, he's made some friends, he's been to parties - as far as Matthew is concerned, the Beforetime is his favourite place. It makes it all the more sad that one day it's all going to be destroyed. "I've been given work, and I like it here."

[iwasmore]

"Good," Noah says, and he means it. Matthew had seemed so kind on the day they met, and he would have looked for him again if everything hadn't fallen apart.

"Who gave you work? If it's at a coffee shop I'll come visit you every day."

[farseek]

"At the stables, though I wouldn't have said no to the coffee shop." He has absolutely no experience with coffee, though. He's grown fond of it since arriving here, but he'd have no idea where to even start with making it.

The horses are more familiar, something tangible that he understands and can enjoy working with. Mostly he's charged with caring for them and cleaning the stable, and it can be hard work but it's rewarding and he loves it.

[iwasmore]

"With Eowyn?" Noah guesses. He's sure many people work there, but Eowyn is the only one he knows of, and he's sure they must have met by now at least.

"I think I'd rather work with animals than food, too. Uh, well, I guess that's why I work here," he says, feeling a little dumb.

[farseek]

"Aye," Matthew confirms. He wouldn't have gotten the job if it weren't for Eowyn, and he likes her a great deal. He's pleased that her and Noah seem to know each other. Matthew is still trying to get a feel for this place and the sheer amount of people who are here. "She told me about it and helped me get work there. She's been very kind."

Matthew glances around, petting a cat as it wanders past him. He didn't know Noah was here because of work, but it suits him, somehow. "Is everything alright?" he asks when he can't help it anymore. "You seem upset."

[iwasmore]

"Eowyn is very kind," Noah says quietly, and can't help thinking about the Eowyn he watched at the theater when he was younger, and what a truly strange place this is.

Noah's cheeks tinge pink with embarrassment. He knows he has a hard time keeping his emotions buried, hidden. He's so obvious. He's quiet for a long moment, trying to figure out how to say it. "My boyfriend and I broke up," he finally says, looking down at the cats on his lap instead of at Matthew. "I've just been..." He trails off, mouth twisting in a frown. "I'm trying to move forward."

[farseek]

For a moment Matthew considers telling him not to answer. He looks uncomfortable, and he feels like he's breached a kind of security wall, almost like he probed into his head without permission. He's reminded painfully of how it had felt when Dameon had always known what he was feeling, sometimes before Matthew himself worked it out.

"I'm sorry," Matthew says, and he is. He doesn't know who Noah's boyfriend is, and the term itself is only vaguely familiar to him, but he thinks he can put the threads together. He's heard the word used several times since he appeared here, and it seems a form of bonding, or as close as he can make out.

Matthew has never had a relationship end in a break up, but he does remember vividly the way his heart had broken when Cameo died, and he puts a reassuring hand on Noah's shoulder. "That must be hard. Is there anything I can do?"

[iwasmore]

Noah startles, and looks over at the mention of death. But he realizes it wasn't, that he's just hearing thoughts again, and he quickly hides a look of embarrassment at hearing something so personal. He clears his throat a little and shakes his head.

"No, thank you, there's nothing to really be done." He cracks a small smile. "Unless you have some sort of magical ability to make feelings go away."

[farseek]

Matthew feels him before he notices the look on Noah's face. His shields have been lacking in Darrow while he didn't really think there was so much need for them, but apparently he's been underestimating certain people. The look on Noah's face is familiar, like he's been caught eavesdropping on something he shouldn't. Matthew has seen that look on countless farseeker novices, and he smiles.

"You were in my head," he says quietly, knowing it's true without needing to think about it. "For just a moment, there." He thinks about the next thing Noah says. If Noah really wanted him to, he could coerce him, go into his mind and rearrange until he didn't feel that kind of sorrow anymore, but it would be tampering with his memories and he's sure that's not what the boy wants.

[a_littlefaith]

Beth hasn't really seen much of Noah since her show at the bar, so she's gone out today specifically to look for him. The cat café had seemed like the best place to check, since he worked there, and she has fond memories of taking Daryl there once, how happy he'd looked being surrounded by all those cats.

As soon as she walks in, she sees Noah in one of the corner chairs. There's a cat immediately winding its way around her ankles and she pauses to scoop it up in her arms, stroking its soft head as she walks over to where Noah is sitting and then sinks down into one of the chairs beside him.

"Hi," she says, settling the cat in her lap and then putting her bag down by her feet. "I haven't seen you in awhile."

[iwasmore]

Noah's lost in his thoughts, distracted, so Beth startles him at first. He smiles automatically, but it's not exactly hard to muster one around her, even with how he's feeling. He knows he's been avoiding just about everything, and he realizes now that he's missed his friends outside of Hywel.

"Hi, yeah, I...haven't been out much," he finishes lamely. His smile dims a little, but he nods to the cat she's chosen. "Her name is Clawdrey Hepburn."

[a_littlefaith]

"She's cute," Beth says, letting the cat settle and then scratching her ears. "Not as cute as Anthony, but I think I have to say that or Daryl'd be mad at me for thinkin' another cat is cuter than his."

She's quiet for a little while, stroking the cat's ears and just sitting in comfortable silence with Noah. "How come you haven't been out much?" she asks finally. If he doesn't want to tell her, it's okay, but she wants him to know he can.

[iwasmore]

"Everyone's cat is the cutest," Noah says, feeling a slight pang, thinking of Prunam. "Like babies."

He doesn't mind the silence, he likes it, just having someone he cares about next to him. He's expecting the question, though he still isn't sure he knows the best way to answer it.

"Cremisius and I broke up," he says slowly, looking away, "and I've just been..." He trails off, shrugs a shoulder. "By myself."

[a_littlefaith]

"Oh no." Beth looks up at Noah again, her brows drawn together. "Noah, I'm so sorry. What happened? No, wait, I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, it's none of my business."

She doesn't know Krem all that well, but he and Noah had seemed so happy at Christmas. That's not always an indicator of real happiness, she knows that, but it makes her sad to think they've broken up.

[iwasmore]

"It's okay," Noah says. He doesn't blame her for wondering, but he's reluctant to say too much, simply out of respect to Cremisius. It's his life, too, and Noah's not sure what he'd want talked about or not. "It's not bad, like. No one did anything bad. We just wanted different things, I guess.

It sounds like such a tv show explanation, but he doesn't know what else to say.

"It's been almost two weeks, so I'm...dealing with it."

[a_littlefaith]

Beth understands what he means when he says that and she nods, though her expression is still sad. For a little while, she'd wondered if she and Daryl wanted the same things, if they'd ever get married like she's always dreamed, if they would ever start a family. The age difference changes things, that's what she had thought, but she's wearing a ring now and she twists it around on her finger so the moonstone is hidden against her hand. She doesn't know why she does it, just that she doesn't think it's appropriate to talk about in a situation like this and she doesn't want Noah to see the ring and ask.

"I'm sorry," she says again. "It must be hard. Even if you're dealing, it's... well. D'you know Chuck? Chuck Hansen? Me and him dated for awhile before I realized how I felt about Daryl and even though I knew it was for the best, breaking up with him was... it was so hard."

[iwasmore]

Noah shakes his head, he's never met Chuck. He doesn't know why what she tells him surprises him at first, people start and end relationships all the time. Maybe because all he's ever heard about was Daryl.

"Feelings are stupidly complicated sometimes," he says, leaning his face against the back of the chair, looking over at Beth. "Do you still talk to Chuck?"

[a_littlefaith]

"Sometimes," she says, nodding and stroking her cat's ears. "Not a lot, because sometimes it's awkward, but I still care about him. Just because you understand someone might not be the best person for you to be with doesn't mean you stop caring about them, which makes it even harder. Which I figure you know pretty well right about now, huh?"

She misses being able to talk to Chuck like she used to, but she knows there's nothing to be done about it. She can't just force him to be okay with how things went, no matter how bad she wants to be able to consider him one of her friends. That's a decision he needs to make on his own.

[iwasmore]

Noah nods, because that's exactly where he is right now. He feels like maybe he ought to tell her, because it wasn't that anyone did anything wrong, and he doesn't want her to think it's from a lack of love.

"We had an open relationship," Noah says quietly. "It was what Cremisius wanted, and I thought I'd be okay with it. It's not like I've never liked more than one person at the same time before. But...it was just, not how I thought it would be. Since I lived with him, it felt like we were married or something." He blushes, because he knows how juvenile it sounds, but that's honestly how it felt. It's a struggle to explain, like it's been a struggle trying to figure out how he feels about it all. "So then he'd go be with someone else, and. I don't know. I guess I felt left out? I don't know. I guess it's just not for me."

[a_littlefaith]

"Oh, jeez," Beth says, then shakes her head. "I couldn't do that either, no way. I'm too... I just couldn't." She's sure of it already, even though she understands what it's like to want more than one person. At the end of the day, though, she wants Daryl more and she knows it would break her heart to see him want someone other than her. If they're only thoughts, she doesn't mind at all, but knowing he was with someone else would just hurt her too bad.

"But you didn't know, right?" she asks gently. "You wanted to try it for him and that's okay. It's okay to try somethin' and then have it turn out to not be for you. I'm sure he's not mad at you for that." What works for one person isn't going to work for everyone and that's okay, she thinks they both know that, but it must be so hard in the moment, trying to work through all those feelings on both side.

[fatesdesign]

Rapunzel adores the cat cafe. It's such a novel idea. Any place that she can get hot chocolate and also pet a cat is good in her book. She comes inside with Pascal, immediately looking around to see which kitties are available for petting, but then she spots Noah. She hasn't seen him in awhile and she makes her way over, frowning in concern when she sees how down he looks.

"Hello Noah," she says, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Pascal jumps over onto Noah's shoulder, nuzzling his jaw. Rapunzel sits down on the arm of the chair and pets the cat in Noah's lap. "Is everything okay?"

[iwasmore]

"Hi, 'Punz," Noah says softly, smiling gently at the kiss. He nuzzles Pascal back, reaching up to stroke along his head. "Careful, buddy, you look like a meal to some of these cats."

Furrosawa's eyes were especially wide, tracking Pascal's movements. He didn't move, otherwise, though.

"Everything has been...better. How've you been?" he asks, hoping to turn the conversation to her.

[fatesdesign]

Pascal's eyes widen and he looks down at the nearest cat, turning an angry red and bringing his paws up to mimic fangs. Rapunzel smiles a little, but she does keep an eye on the cats, just in case.

"I'm okay," she assures him, frowning a bit. She puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing a bit. He's acting a little like he did at that party, and it makes her worry. "What's going on, Noah?"

[iwasmore]

That successfully spooks Furosawa. He daintily jumps down, pretending to walk away like he'd been intending to all along.

Noah smiles a little at her touch, but it doesn't quite show in his eyes. He tries to think of a way around it, or a gentle way of explaining, but he's having a hard time expressing himself through all this.

"Cremisius and I broke up," he says simply. He'd say it's made him sad, but she can obviously already tell that. "I moved out."

[fatesdesign]

It takes Rapunzel a moment to parse out the phrase broke up, but then it becomes fairly obvious. Noah and his boyfriend seem to have ended their relationship. Rapunzel has no idea how that must feel, having never been in a relationship herself, but she knows how badly it hurt to be separated from Eugene.

"Oh, Noah," she says quietly, squeezing into the chair next to him and wrapping her arms around him. "I'm so sorry."

[paper_courage]

It's a cat cafe.

Noah's said several times the he words at a cat cafe. The name suggests it. However, even as Peter is pushing his way through the front door, he's astounded to be in what can only be described as a cat cafe. Huh.

Noah is in the far corner, covered in cats. He looks miserable, which is not a shade Peter is used to seeing Noah wear.

"Hey," Peter says softly by way of announcing himself. "I got your text. Are you alright?" He went to pull up a chair, but there was a cat flicking its tail at Peter. He has no idea what that means, so he decides to just stand.

[iwasmore]

Noah manages a smile at Peter, glad to see him. He knows he's been holed away lately, and he has no idea what anyone's been up to.

"I'm..." Noah trails off, unsure how to answer. He notices the way Peter looks at the cat and won't sit down. "Do cats frighten you? You can pick her up and move her, it's okay. All the cats here are especially friendly."

[paper_courage]

"I've never interacted with a cat that wasn't Magnus'," Peter admits. The creature is cute, though, and when Peter goes to pat his head, he purrs easily, casts big, blue eyes up at Peter. He smiles a little as he gently scoops the cat up and replaces its weight with his own on the chair. He rests the cat back on his own lap so he can choose where to go, but the fluffy little thing sits in Peter's lap. He instantly understands the appeal of the cat cafe as he strokes his fingers through the soft, white fur.

With his free hand, Peter seizes Noah's gently, carefully, squeezes a bit. "Do you want to talk about it?" Peter understands how this is an important question to ask, and while he is always a person that wants to talk, that's not true for everyone. Classically, Noah has been very open, but people grieve in different ways. The cat on Peter's lap is tuned into Noah's pain, too, and he paws over to nuzzle Noah's hand in Peter's.

[iwasmore]

"They're all pretty similar," Noah says with a faint smile, watching Peter acquaint himself with Fuzz Aldrin. All the cats at Un Chat Gris are used to being handled, but it's sweet to see one taking so easily to his friend.

He blushes a little at Peter taking his hand, and his throat tightens. He's done better with not crying so much, but the easy show of affection nearly triggers it. Fuzz nuzzling him gets a smile, though. "I don't know what to say," he admits. "I've never been in love with someone like that, and I've never..." He shrugs. He had a few girlfriends in high school, and they didn't last, but he didn't care about them.

[paper_courage]

Peter didn't shy away from the touch, especially not when it seemed the truth of it may overwhelm Noah. Talking about stuff like this is messy, but Peter knows how necessary it is. Not talking about such things had put Peter and Jason in a fine mess back home, and while the circumstances were vastly different, heartache had a certain ache that was similar for many. Peter could recognize it in Noah's face, hos voice, the way he kept his hand closed in Peter's. Fuzz bumped Peter's thumb to get him to share the affection. Instead, Peter brought another hand up to gently pet the creature. That other hand was all Noah's for as long as he needed it.

"What happened?" Peter asks, ridging his thumb softly over Noah's knuckles. This boy that has been a ray of sunshine in Peter's life looking so dull and drained, it breaks Peter's heart. It makes him wonder how the other party is doing. It makes him wish he could do something other than sit there with a cat in his lap and listen, silent and wide-eyed.

[iwasmore]

Noah looks down at their hands, quietly appreciating Peter's gentle affection. Touch is so important to him, more than it ever had been when he was alive, and especially now that he knows he won't chill the other person. It's an anchor, a reminder of whatever humanity he has left.

He's missed it so much from Krem.

"I had a hard time with the open relationship," he says slowly, trying to think of the best way to explain. "I thought maybe we should separate before it got worse." His voice goes quiet. "I still love him."

[paper_courage]

Noah's hand is eerily cold, but it doesn't seem to deter Peter. It's a kind of cold that suggests nothing can be done about its being there. Noah is a ghost and he's having trouble staying corporeal. When they'd met, Peter had been made aware that this happens. Every day, Peter gets a little more used to strange things every passing day and there's nothing strange about holding a friend's hand in his time of need.

Peter hadn't known about that aspect of their relationship, but most likely that's because it's none of his business. He settles on a gentle, "I'm sorry, Noah." What makes sense for one doesn't always make sense for another, regardless of how much love there is. The sad truth is that love isn't always enough. Peter had walked away from Jason for that very reason before. "You didn't do anything wrong. Neither of you did." It's what Peter had needed to hear at some point in his own travails and there hadn't been anyone to say it. He can only hope that it provides some comfort to Noah.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren's not sure when the last time he'd seen Noah had been and that's a bit of a warning flag, seeing as he likes the boy and he's pretty much the best friend he's got outside of Beth and Sirius. He tries a few of the usual haunts, but it takes until the cat cafe before he finds him. He stands a little awkwardly at the front door, seeing as some of the cats don't really like the smell of him, but eventually nudges his way inside.

"You know, I didn't even like cats that much when I was alive, but this reaction is a bit much," he jokes, sitting down across from him.

[iwasmore]

That gets a smile out of Noah. "Hi, Kieren," he says, genuinely glad to see his friend. Only now does it feel like it's been awhile since he's really been outside of Hywel, outside of the occasional shifts here.

"We can go somewhere else if you want, my shift is over," he offers, assuming Kieren didn't actually come here for the cats.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren settles down a little, trying to ignore the hissing. "I mean, if you don't mind? I don't mind being here, but I think my presence is minded," he points out, seeing as none of the cats seem too inclined to appreciate his presence.

[iwasmore]

"The cats are being rude," Noah says, mildly disapproving, and gently lifts Furrosawa Akira and Juliet Catulet off of him and onto the floor, getting up. He tries to think of somewhere he wants to go, but he just wants his bed.

"Want to come back to Hywel with me? We can take the bus."

[roartonrisen]

"Not really," Kieren points out, hands in his pockets as he rolls his shoulders inwards. "I mean, I am dead and in their vicinity. I can't really expect them to love me," he points out, but would be more than grateful to get away from the hissing and the accusatory looks. "We can go wherever you like and maybe you can tell me why I haven't seen you in a while."

[iwasmore]

Noah is dead and in their vicinity all the time, and they don't behave that way around him. But they're different kinds of dead with different scents, so maybe it's Kieren's possession of an actual body that sets him apart.

"Sure," he says, feeling his gut tighten with anxiety to have to explain. For now, while they go to the bus stop, he turns the subject away from that. "Hey, whatever happened to that boy you kissed?"

[roartonrisen]

Kieren gives Noah a concerned look when he doesn't look any better when they're out at the bus stop. "Sirius?" he clarifies, trying to hide the instant smile that lights his face the minute he starts thinking about him. "We went on a few dates," he says, letting out a soft huff of a laugh. "And he accidentally ate enchanted chocolates and wound up being very overly dramatic in professing his love for me," he notes wryly.

"He's a good man," he says more seriously, "I like him."

[iwasmore]

Noah really wishes he wasn't feeling so depressed, because he wants to be totally and completely happy for Kieren and stop thinking about his own ended relationship. And it isn't like he isn't happy, it's just hard to feel anything through this.

"That happened to Blue," he says, about the chocolates. If anyone deserves someone telling them they love them, even if it's because of some candy, it's Kieren.

"So he's your boyfriend? He didn't take it back after the spell wore off, did he?"

[roartonrisen]

Sirius as his boyfriend? Kieren's never really gotten to boyfriend before so much as truly tragic crush. He's not even sure how he'd begin to act in that case. He opens his mouth and then closes it, a touch unsure of what to even say. "I don't know if he's my boyfriend," he sputters, a little uneasy. "We're seeing each other, though. It's nice," he says.

"It's a lot simpler than my last few relationships."