(no subject)

[iwasmore]

For the past two weeks Noah had been alternating between Hywel and Un Chat Gris. He hadn't wanted to go anywhere else, hadn't been able to muster the energy to visit anyone, to do...much of anything. He had no appetite, but it didn't matter, he didn't need to eat. What he didn't understand was why he was still so depressed; he made a choice because he thought it was what he needed, but maybe he was wrong. He kept rolling it over in his mind, again and again, wondering if all he'd done was made a terrible mistake.

He liked the cats at the café, they were a comfort. He'd let Prunam stay with Krem and he missed them both. For now, his shift was over, but he didn't leave just yet. Instead, he gathered a few cats and snuggled with them in one of the corner chairs, petting them until he could feel their rumbling purrs against his chest.

Comments

[iwasmore]

Noah shakes his head, he's never met Chuck. He doesn't know why what she tells him surprises him at first, people start and end relationships all the time. Maybe because all he's ever heard about was Daryl.

"Feelings are stupidly complicated sometimes," he says, leaning his face against the back of the chair, looking over at Beth. "Do you still talk to Chuck?"

[a_littlefaith]

"Sometimes," she says, nodding and stroking her cat's ears. "Not a lot, because sometimes it's awkward, but I still care about him. Just because you understand someone might not be the best person for you to be with doesn't mean you stop caring about them, which makes it even harder. Which I figure you know pretty well right about now, huh?"

She misses being able to talk to Chuck like she used to, but she knows there's nothing to be done about it. She can't just force him to be okay with how things went, no matter how bad she wants to be able to consider him one of her friends. That's a decision he needs to make on his own.

[iwasmore]

Noah nods, because that's exactly where he is right now. He feels like maybe he ought to tell her, because it wasn't that anyone did anything wrong, and he doesn't want her to think it's from a lack of love.

"We had an open relationship," Noah says quietly. "It was what Cremisius wanted, and I thought I'd be okay with it. It's not like I've never liked more than one person at the same time before. But...it was just, not how I thought it would be. Since I lived with him, it felt like we were married or something." He blushes, because he knows how juvenile it sounds, but that's honestly how it felt. It's a struggle to explain, like it's been a struggle trying to figure out how he feels about it all. "So then he'd go be with someone else, and. I don't know. I guess I felt left out? I don't know. I guess it's just not for me."

[a_littlefaith]

"Oh, jeez," Beth says, then shakes her head. "I couldn't do that either, no way. I'm too... I just couldn't." She's sure of it already, even though she understands what it's like to want more than one person. At the end of the day, though, she wants Daryl more and she knows it would break her heart to see him want someone other than her. If they're only thoughts, she doesn't mind at all, but knowing he was with someone else would just hurt her too bad.

"But you didn't know, right?" she asks gently. "You wanted to try it for him and that's okay. It's okay to try somethin' and then have it turn out to not be for you. I'm sure he's not mad at you for that." What works for one person isn't going to work for everyone and that's okay, she thinks they both know that, but it must be so hard in the moment, trying to work through all those feelings on both side.