iwasmore | for Cremisius

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for Cremisius

Noah was so much busier in Darrow at night than he had been back home. Without Ronan around, he occasionally kept Gansey company when he was alone with his insomnia. He had Al to look after, to try and keep him from having nightmares. He checked on Ronan to make sure he wasn't having any nightmares - or dreaming anything dangerous into the world. He didn't check on Ronan when he was at Adam's, though, giving them privacy in case they wanted it. He didn't check on Blue, because she was a girl, and it seemed impolite to show up in her bedroom in the middle of the night.

And then, there was Krem. Noah wasn't trying to be creepy, but he wanted to peek in to check and make sure he was okay. The common theme among everyone here was being displaced, and that alone was enough to cause poor sleep, or even nightmares. And Cremisius had also been a solider, and Noah could imagine that came with it's own set of problems.

The first night Noah checked in on Cremisius, he appeared to be sleeping just fine. Prunam was even curled at the bottom of the bed near his feet. Noah left a small handful of glitter that had been left over from Adam's birthday party on the bedside table and disappeared. The second night, Cremisius was awake, sitting up in bed and looking pensive. Noah wanted to say something, but felt to shy just showing up, and left. The third night, Noah came in the middle of an awful nightmare. Cremisius was making a pained sound, curled in on himself, and Noah could see he mind conjuring blood and the bodies of friends, strewn among rubble and smoke. He tossed, one hand clutching at his chest even in sleep, and Noah's own unbeating, useless heart gave a pang of sympathy, because even if he was no longer alive he could still feel.

Noah joined Krem in bed, too worried to spare a thought for whether he'd want him there or not, too worried to even remember to go corporeal, and stroked his hair in soft, soothing motions. Shh, he whispered, trying to calm Krem's nightmares from growing worse. He didn't have any magic to change thoughts or stop nightmares, but he always hoped his cool touch would soothe and interrupt; like his family dog, when he was a child. Sadie would sometimes woof and growl in her dreams, and if Noah put a gentle hand on her stomach, or stroked her back, the dreams would calm without her truly coming awake, and she'd sleep soundly.

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Krem ran his fingers up Noah's hands gently, sighing as Noah runs his fingers through his hair. Though he's still sniffling a little bit, it's cleared up a little bit, and he's mostly just breathing slowly and deeply again.

"No, I'm awake now," he said, and laughed softly. He tucked in, close against Noah, despite the chill of his body. It made him shiver a little, but not in an unpleasant way. "I don't like to sleep after I've had those dreams, anyway."

"Okay, but you should nap tomorrow, then." Noah gently wiped the moisture from the corner of Krem's eyes. He might not have cried very much, but there was still a little. He moved his palm between them to feel his heartbeat and realized there was a breast there and quickly pulled his hand back. He blushed, actual almost-pink. "Sorry! I just wanted to feel your heart, not-- private things..."

Krem nodded a little at the suggestion, though he wound't take it. He had work--or, if he didn't, he'd go in to see Tris and the others at the gym, anyway, because he didn't do much else with his time. He leaned into the affectionate touch to his cheek a bit.

Noah jerking his hand back from his chest startled him a little. He'd barely noticed his hand moving down. He blinked at him a second, and then smiled a little, reaching for his hand gently.

"It's okay. I mean, I know they're there."

Noah let his hand relax in Cremisius', but he was still embarrassed. "That doesn't mean I can touch them," he forced himself to say. In general, he didn't talk about...breasts. Or sex. Or any of that. Sometimes he and Ronan would tell dirty jokes, but they were just obnoxious, stupid things.

Krem looked at him softly, confused for a moment. He watched Noah's face, worried he might start to get fuzzy around the edges if he asked the wrong question now.

"You don't have to touch them," he finally said, with an airy dismissiveness to the gesture like Noah hadn't done it at all. "But you can, if you'd like to. If you're curious."

Noah's eyes widened and he almost went invisible. He didn't, though, but his voice squeaked a little when he replied. "I can? Like...you want me to?"

Krem sighed a soft little laugh. He was still holding Noah's hand, and he lifted it, kissing his fingertips gently. After a moment, he looked at Noah and smiled.

"Just...just no touching below the waist. Everything else is alright." It felt like a silly limitation, after he'd said it, but the nerves were coiled in his stomach again. He leaned up and kissed Noah softly.

Noah wasn't going to complain. It was like the eighth wonder of the world revealing itself to him that he was allowed to touch anything. To him, it was amazing that there was a person who even wanted to kiss him. Like, more than once.

He forgot about touching for a moment when Cremisius kissed him, melting into the kiss, marveling at how different it felt from the other day when elfroot had been involved. He didn't forget completely, but he also didn't rush. He didn't want to come across as some fumbling teenager (even though he kind of was).

Noah traced the side of Krem's jaw with his fingertips, then trailed them down his neck, the lightest touch to make him shiver. He touched Krem's shoulder next, and finally moved his hand down the cotton shirt, splaying his fingers to cup Krem's breast in his hand. He let out the tiniest moan, and kept his hand there, unmoving, just feeling the weight of it in his palm.

Krem did shiver, but he also shuffled in against Noah's body, like it might provide him with some warmth though he knew it would not. He sighed into Noah's kiss a little, opening his mouth to it a little bit. He was still nervous about kissing, about seeming foolish or inexperienced with it. But Noah seemed nervous too, and so that helped to ease things.

Noah's hand was cool through Krem's shirt, and his skin prickled a little, responding to the chilliness as well as the light, almost teasing contact. He sighed against Noah's lips, smiling at the soft noise he made, his body thrilling with it a little bit.

Noah was nervous, he didn't want to scare Cremisius again. He didn't want to mess it up. He tried to listen for a sign that Cremisius was getting anxious, or that he was doing something he didn't like. What he did realize was that he seemed to have more experience kissing than Krem, so he took control just a little, encouraging Krem's mouth open just a little bit more so he could dip his tongue in to meet Krem's.

It was his hand he didn't quite know what to do with. He could feel the nipple hard beneath the shirt, whether from the coolness of his hand or just his touch in general. Noah experimentally moved his thumb against it, adding a little pressure, a little friction.

Krem smiled against the kiss, letting Noah lead the kiss how he wanted. It was a tender thing, without any rush, and just a little bit sloppy. Krem found he quite liked it, and the way it felt, and the way it made him feel.

He lifted a hand to Noah's hand on his chest as he cautiously traced at his nipple, slowly adjusting his hold to a more solid grip. With his other hand, he cupped Noah's cheek.

"It's okay."

Noah's eyes opened halfway, and he was caught between being turned on, and being embarrassed. His body felt warm all over, even though he didn't think it had actually managed to make it warm.

"Sorry, I don't know what feels good to you," he admitted, because he owed it to Krem to be honest. Everything felt good to him, but that didn't mean Krem felt the same way.

Whatever flush he had in his body was lost in the darkness, but Krem could feel just the hint of it, beating back against the chill of him. Krem ran his fingers along Noah's smooth jaw and fine cheeks.

"This feels nice," he assured gently. It did feel good, to kiss and be kissed, and go slowly and gently. "I'll tell you if something doesn't."

"Okay," Noah whispered. He leaned in to kiss Cremisius again, giving a gentle squeeze with his hand before running his palm up Krem's arm and along his shoulder. He moved his hand to the small of Krem's back, then, after hesitating at the hem of his shirt, slid his hand underneath. He wanted, most of all, to feel skin, and traced his hand along Krem's spine, still kissing him with soft, lazy kisses.

"You feel so good," he murmured against Krem's mouth. "It's a little overwhelming."

Krem shivered a little, kissing Noah back and wondering curiously at how very real and present he seemed. He didn't suppose that Noah would feel any other way, though, even if he did sometimes go fuzzy around the edges and could disappear.

His chilly fingers, under Krem's shirt, made Krem gasp slightly. He shivered, and laughed a little, but he smiled into the kiss.

"I'll try to be more underwhelming next time."

"Probably impossible. You're like, unfairly gorgeous, for one thing," Noah said with a smile that matched Krem's. He knew his touch was cold, and tried to keep it light so it wouldn't be too much. Part of him threatened to spiral into that familiar place of self-loathing, of wanting his old body back, but he ignored it. Everything was so nice just then, he desperately wanted only to enjoy it.

He kissed the corner of Krem's mouth, then up his jaw, to his ear. He nipped Krem's earlobe with the barest hint of teeth before nuzzling behind his ear, moving down to kiss along his neck with the lightest touch of his lips.

Krem laughed again, a little more pressed and shyly. He kept one of his hands on Noah's cheek, sliding the other down his arm slowly as his mouth went roving.

The nip to his ear drew a slightly more earnest noise out of him, deeper, lower in his chest, and Krem blushed, biting his lip as he tried to contain the sound. He snuck his fingers under Noah's sweater and shirt as well, thinking it only fair he could to touch skin too.

Noah didn't mind at all, he craved touch, affection. It was unfair, really, everyone else felt so warm to him, but he couldn't imagine his own skin - or whatever it was - felt so nice to anyone else. But Blue had liked the kiss, and Krem seemed to like kissing him, so he would't bring it up.

He traced the path his mouth had made along Krem's neck with his tongue, stopping to lightly suck. He moaned low in his throat at the taste of Krem's skin, hand stroking idly along his back.

Krem shivered again, though this time it was not so much from the chill. He felt over warm, not just from the flush that was suffusing his cheeks but from the arousal boiling low in his belly that he couldn't bring voice to. He squirmed a bit closer to Noah, tilting his chin up.

"Are you trying to mark me up...?" His shirt hitched up a bit from Noah's touching, but he kept his own fingers fleeting and teasing around Noah's sides and stomach. "I'm going to cause a stir at work."

"I'm being careful," Noah replied in a husky voice that sounded strange to his own ears. He had experience having fun while avoiding hickeys with girls who didn't want to risk having their parents see. "Unless you want me to." His mouth moved higher, and he sucked a bit harder, but only briefly, like a question.

Krem laughed softly, taking his hand out from under Noah's shirt briefly to guide Noah's hand under his own--up his back and around, back to his chest now. He smiled and moaned briefly at the brush of suction.

"Yeah...yeah, I'd like that." He surprised himself to say it, but it kept the smile on his face. He rolled onto his back a bit more, tilting his head back into his pillow, and grinning.

"Oh." Noah smiled in muted delight, feeling flushed drowsy with desire. Krem rolled to his back and Noah followed, exploring Krem's chest with his hand and leaning up to kiss him on the mouth again, brief but firm, before moving back to his ear, remembering the sound he'd made earlier. His free hand found it's way to Krem's head, fingers tangling in his hair, making sure Krem's head was tilted just so. He nibbled teasingly at Krem's earlobe, slowly kissed along his jaw. Finally, he returned his mouth to Krem's neck and began to suck at the warm, smooth skin, gradually sucking harder, his fingers teasing Krem's nipple, then the other.

Krem sighed into the brief, hungry kiss and sprawled slightly beneath Noah. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around Noah's shoulders loosely, his body trembling with a combination of sensations far more enjoyable than hiss standard nerves and the low chilliness of Noah's fingers drawing noises out of him just as much as his nibbling was. Every kiss and nibble and suck pressed the heat in him higher, drove his breath out, made him squirm a little underneath Noah as he whispered his name,

Noah moaned from the sounds Krem was making, from the way he said his name, from the way his body responded, from the fact that it was him making Krem feel good. His mouth left Krem's neck and he kissed him soundly, his fingers moving from Krem's hair to cup his cheek.

His other hand tugged at Krem's shirt, pushing it up his stomach, but stopping there. "Can I...see?" he asked, breathless, against Krem's mouth.

Krem stilled for a moment and contemplated the requests. Not because he didn't want to, but because Noah was still so gentle, so kind, almost uncertain. He ran his fingers slowly up the back of Noah's neck and through his hair, and then brought his hands down to his shirt. He arched his back and pulled the shirt off, tossing it off into the darkness, and then laid there in his shorts beneath Noah for a moment.

"Well," he said, breathless and soft and husky with sleep and arousal. "There I am."

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