(no subject)

Noah felt desolate and adrift. He'd never fought with his friends. Ronan would fight with Blue, Gansey would fight with Adam, Blue would fight with Adam, and every interchangeable combination between the four of them. Noah always managed to stay out of it. Someone would get mad at him, and he'd slump and go quiet and it would blow over. He didn't have the tangle of issues they had; his issues were mostly his corporeal state, and it wasn't like there was anyone to fight with about that.

Seeing Ronan attacking Krem, seeing the both of them fighting like they wanted to tear each other apart, had taken Noah back to a place he never wanted to go. The one thing he never wanted to think about. When you think someone's your best friend, and it turns violent with that person you trusted. Noah knew Ronan could be violent, but not with one of theirs. Krem might not have been Ronan's friend, but he was Noah's, shouldn't that have been enough?

And why, when Noah was so angry with him, did Ronan walking away hurt so much?

Noah had left the park without checking on Cremisius. He hadn't meant to, he just hadn't been able to hold on anymore. Now he found himself outside Hywell. He wasn't even sure how much time had passed between the fight and here. He didn't feel like he had a right to be here; what if Ronan was inside? He didn't want to look at him, right now.

Noah walked away, not sure where he belonged anymore.

for Derek / Dean / Cas

Recently, things had felt off for Noah. Not just everything with Ronan, but with...him. It was becoming difficult to stay corporeal, controlling his body, acting human. It scared him, as much as he tried not to let on. He wasn't sure if it was because he was ending, or if it was something about Darrow. So far, the only one who'd mentioned having any sort of knowledge on the subject was Dean. Granted, he also wanted to separate Noah from the mortal realm, but he wasn't aggressive about it and Noah thought maybe after that monster attack Dean kind of owed it to him not to, well. Kill him.

Noah thought it might be a good idea to ask Dean what he knew about his existence, and to check up on him to make sure he was okay. To further make a show of good will, he decided to bring some elfroot with him. Krem wasn't around, and Noah felt a bit guilty taking some without asking, but he'd just take a little. He packed it in a little bag, along with an apple and the lighter. This also meant he had to walk to Dean's. He couldn't just pop in and out, he wouldn't be able to carry anything with him.

On the way, he blinked out of existence. The baggie and apple fell to the ground. Noah showed up about twenty minutes later, and thankfully they were right where he'd dropped them. He picked them up and continued on his way, resting a hand on his chest where his heart would have been if he still had one.

When he got to Dean's house he stared up at it, re-thinking his decision. Did Dean live with Castiel? What if Castiel yelled at him?

Noah frowned and lurked across the walkway. He nibbled nervously at the hem of his shirt sleeve, and turned around to leave. Maybe another day...