for Ianto

[iwasmore]

Noah's visiting Blue at Chelsea Cloisters. She seems to prefer switching back and forth between here and Hywel, and they'd had a fun evening just hanging out and catching up with each other. As he's leaving he hears a sound of distress and stops in the middle of the hallway. He gets a glimpse of someone being strangled. His mouth falls open and he disappears, reappearing where he feels the source of whatever's happening.

It's someone's bedroom, dark and cool and quiet. No one's being strangled, nothing's going on at all. The person in bed, a man, is tossing restlessly, but clearly asleep despite the little sounds he's making. Noah's reminded of Al, the way he'd had nightmares so awful he sometimes fell out of bed altogether.

He didn't know this person, but maybe it would be a favor to pull him out of his bad dreams.

Noah makes himself faded and ghostlike, the way he looked before the spell, and sits gingerly on the edge of the person's bed. He presses a cool hand to the man's forehead like a compress and whispers, "Shhh. It's okay."

Comments

[tw3_ianto_jones]

"I don't remember seeing any movies like that," Ianto says, sighing at the comfort that comes with Noah's touch. "And I've never hurt anyone myself. Not that I remember," he adds, and he wishes that he could trust his own memory, but he knows he can't, not with the way Torchwood administers memory altering drugs. For all he knows he could have hurt those girls but he just doesn't remember it.

"I'm not a bad person," Ianto says after a moment, his voice quavering a little. "I know I'm not. But I feel like, like it's real."

[iwasmore]

Ianto seems to relax some from his touch, so Noah gently holds his hand. He tilts his head to the side. "What's Torchwood? If they did mess with your memories, it could be something you're suppressing. Maybe not something you did," he's quick to say, not wanting to upset Ianto further. "Maybe something you saw."

[tw3_ianto_jones]

Ianto's confused at first how Noah knows Torchwood, but then he remembers that Noah had read his dreams before. He must have gotten Torchwood from Ianto's mind as well.

"Torchwood is where I worked," he tells Noah. "We investigated strange occurrences, aliens, people who ended up in the wrong time, demons," he tries to explain, never quite sure how to put it. "But not murderers," he adds softly. "Not regular human murderers."

He takes a breath. "Sometimes I wonder if there's a way to see if it is in my memory," he tells Noah, his voice shaking a little. "But then I'm afraid I'll learn something I don't want to remember."

[iwasmore]

Okay, so it was like The X-Files. A lot of shady and crazy stuff happened in that show, and Noah still doesn't want to think too hard about the whole fictional thing, but if it's an agency looking into weird things, memory tweaking didn't sound outside the realm of possibilities.

"Maybe it's your mind's way of processing things you have seen," Noah offers as another possibly explanation. "Isn't that what they say dreaming is about? Maybe you've seen so many things, that's how it's working through it."

[tw3_ianto_jones]

"Maybe," Ianto replies, but it feels to real to be the kind of thing he was used to seeing, too human. Still, the only other explanation is that he did kill those girls, the ones he sees in his nightmares most of the time, and he can't believe he could do that. He's never wanted to hurt anyone in his life, even to the point of letting himself be hurt instead.

"You're probably right," he tells Noah, smiling softly. "I don't know why I can't have nice dreams sometimes," he goes on, fiddling with the hem of his blanket. "I can't remember the last good one I've had."

[iwasmore]

"I'm sorry," Noah says softly, giving Ianto's hand a squeeze. He seems to be surrounded by insomniacs and friends who struggle with things like this. Darrow seems to draw a lot of people who have lived hard lives to it. "I know too many people plagued by nightmares. I wish I had some kind of ghost trick to help."

[tw3_ianto_jones]

"You have helped," Ianto replies, grateful in that moment to have Noah's hand in his, a grounding gesture. "You woke me from that nightmare, talked with me."

He takes a breath, giving Noah a soft smile. "I feel a lot better, actually," he says, and he means it. "I've not told anyone else about that dream before. It feels good to get it off my chest a little." He pauses, squeezing Noah's hand back. "Thank you, Noah."

[iwasmore]

"You're welcome," Noah says just as softly as before, smiling warmly like he's received the biggest compliment. Now that he's gotten a second chance at life, he's found he really likes to help people.

"Do you want to try to sleep again? I can stay, if you want."

[tw3_ianto_jones]

"Would you mind?" Ianto asks, feeling a bit childish for wanting to take Noah up on his offer, but the idea of having someone here with him until he falls asleep again is too comforting to reject out of hand. "I don't want to keep you, and you've done so much already, but I think it would help, having you here."

[iwasmore]

"I wouldn't," Noah says with a gentle smile. He's done so for Al, and Ronan, and even for Krem (though, that's different). Even now, after the spell, he doesn't need as much sleep as humans, so he's okay to stay up and watch over someone having nightmares.

He tucks himself in next Ianto, snuggling instead of holding hands. "Just relax, close your eyes, and think of something nice."