iwasmore: (hmm)
Noah Czerny ([personal profile] iwasmore) wrote2016-08-30 09:57 pm

(no subject)

When Noah gets back to Hywel he goes to his bedroom, not in the mood to see anyone or talk. At least he didn't tell any of them where he'd gone, who he'd gone with, so there wouldn't be a recap to give or fumbled explanations of why he was back so early. And, thankfully, whoever's home must be too busy to notice, because he spends the rest of the night undisturbed.

The next morning he wanders out into the living area, but doesn't feel like making pancakes. He pours himself a bowl of cereal instead and flops over onto the couch to stare at the TV for awhile.
thedreamthief: (eyebrow rub)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-08-31 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Aside from the nights when Ronan doesn't sleep at all, it's not uncommon for him to find Noah (or Adam or Gansey) up before him. So when he steps out of Adam's bedroom -- the bedroom Adam left hours ago for work -- he only grunts at the sight of Noah on the couch, shoulders hunched as he shovels cereal into his mouth.

Yawning, Ronan pads over, dropping onto the couch and resting his feet on the table.

"Got you a camera," he says, nodding idly toward the room he's just vacated. "Memory card, too. You wanna see it?"
thedreamthief: (naked eyerub)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-08-31 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
There's something wholly satisfying in Noah's eager response and Ronan grins, waking up further little by little as he pushes back up to his feet and disappears back into Adam's room.

He reemerges moments later cradling a digital camera, gathering the dangling strap of it in his other hand before he hands it to Noah. He perches on the edge of the table then, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Found some shit online about what you might need in class and studied a few handbooks. No reason anyone should think this baby's different than any other. Except for the memory card," he adds with a small grin. "Shouldn't have to delete anything ever. It's got more space on it than a NASA hard drive."
thedreamthief: (smirky hand)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-08-31 09:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Ronan watches as Noah examines the camera, his fingers gliding over the screen and buttons on the back, a smile stretching wide across his face. It's not like dreaming things for Adam where he has to be careful both in the item itself as well as the giving of it. He doesn't have to worry that Noah will feel he's taking advantage or that Noah will worry about having to do something in return, something to even things out.

He just give and Noah can accept and he can smile that smile that makes Ronan feel like he really is a beautiful creature and not a monster.

His lips are twisted into a small smirk when the camera whirls and clicks and he rolls his eyes. "Better not start abusing your power with that thing," he says, though there's no real threat in his tone at all. "Also I get to see the shit you turn in for class, I don't care how pretentious."
thedreamthief: (smirky hand)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-08-31 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Noah drops down right beside him for a moment, camera cradled in his lap as he pokes at the buttons and spins the little wheel. Ronan watches him, pleased that he'd managed to bring something of this size out with little difficulty. There may or may not be a number of failed attempts in his closet, but Noah doesn't need to know that.

He breathes a laugh at Noah's suggestion, but nods easily enough. It's not like he has anything better to do. Giving Noah a quick nudge with his elbow, he pushes to his feet. "Pretty sure Cinnamon was made for close-ups," he says, stopping back the kitchen on the way out to grab the container of orange juice straight from the fridge.
thedreamthief: (almost happy)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-01 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
Ronan keeps a pair of sandals by the door and he slips into them before heading down the stairs, glancing back over his shoulder when he hears Noah's footsteps following.

"Fuck no," he says, uncapping the lid and tipping his head back to drink straight from the carton. Once he reaches the bottom floor, he turns to offer it to Noah, lips curved in a grin. "Want some?"
thedreamthief: (up close)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-01 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Ronan grins when Noah takes his own sip, always happy to promote bad habits. Taking another drink for himself, he makes a sound at Noah's request, brow furrowing.

"Do I need to start charging a modeling fee?" he says, though he's already opening the latch on the gate into the barn area and heading for Cinnamon's pen. "How the fuck am I supposed to pose, anyway? I'll just look like an asshole."
thedreamthief: (smoochy smoochy)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm not fucking posing," Ronan says, though there's no heat in his words at all. "Or smiling."

He heads straight for Cinnamon though, smoothing his hand along her side as she swings her large head their way, blinking lazily at Noah with his camera. When Ronan takes the step closer to hear head, she turns to nose at Ronan's hand, curious of the carton of orange juice, apparently.

Smirking, Ronan lightly cups her chin, guiding her to look at Noah. "Look at this face. Made for the camera."
thedreamthief: (smoochy smoochy)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
Something in Noah's tone catches, something that makes him wonder, but when Ronan glances over again, the camera's blocking his face, the machine inside it whirling and clicking.

Ronan sticks his tongue out then as he rubs a hand over Cinnamon's muzzle and then leans in to press a kiss to the curve of her head before stepping back toward the door, holding it open as Cinnamon follows. "Come on, let's get some shots outside," he says as Hercules trots over to join their ragtag little group.
thedreamthief: (cap)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Once outside, Ronan holds back to stand with Noah as Cinnamon and Hercules carry on, Cinnamon lowering his head to sniff at the grass like she's considering having breakfast.

Ronan crosses his arms over his chest idly, peering over at Noah as Noah fiddles with the camera.

"So what's the deal?" he asks after a long stretch of Noah's silence. "You were eating some moody fucking cereal in there."
thedreamthief: (shadow downward)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
Ronan's smile wavers then, an ugly mix of sensations prickling under his skin. As little as he wants to talk about it, he knows he was the one to start the conversation, and he fucking hates seeing that expression on Noah's face.

"A date," he repeats, trying to settle the feeling in his stomach. "That guy you mentioned a couple weeks ago? The British prick? What happened?"
thedreamthief: (naked eyerub)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
"What was going on?" Ronan replies before he realizes what Noah's probably implying and he quickly holds up a hand to stop himself hearing any details.

For the first time, he thinks maybe he gets why Noah doesn't like accidentally hearing Ronan's thoughts regarding him and Adam.

His lips twist into a deeper frown then and he shakes his head. "Fuck him, he doesn't deserve your time anyway." Ronan knows it's not the greatest slice of comfort, that it likely comes off sort of empty and insincere even if he does mean it.

And, if Ronan is absolutely honest, there's a part of him that's glad. Not glad for Noah hurting, but glad that this asshole, whoever he is, is out of the picture. And he didn't even have to punch him.
thedreamthief: (shadow downward)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
There's an edge of defeat in Noah's tone, a glimpse of how much this is actually hurting him. It goes deeper than this Brit asshole, Ronan thinks, deeper than this one failed date. Probably deeper than Krem even.

"Hey," Ronan says, his voice lower as he slings his arm over Noah's shoulder. "I mean it. I know it sounds like bullshit, but it's true."

There's more he wants to say, more he probably needs to and more he probably shouldn't. But Ronan's never been any good with words anyway. All he has is the camera in Noah's hands, the weight of his arm over Noah's shoulder, this moment out in the sun with a boy who's heart is too big for him. And the lingering memory of a mistake he'd made months ago, a presumption swiftly corrected.

"Want me to kick his ass?" he asks then, partly serious but mostly just wanting to make Noah smile.
thedreamthief: (da fuq?)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Ronan nearly wants to argue that Noah's fucking nothing like Krem, but he knows that's not what's important here, that anything he might say against Krem right now isn't likely to make Noah feel any better.

So he keeps his mouth shut for now, swallowing it back.

"Why the fuck wouldn't it be fair?" he says instead, brow furrowed. "Because you're dead? Because you're a ghost? Like that makes you less of a person? You know that's fucking horseshit, right?"
thedreamthief: (eyebrow rub)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-05 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Ronan's frown deepens and he claps his hand over Noah's against his chest, squeezing it tight.

"You can feel this," he says, voice lower, nearly accusatory. "You can eat and drink, you have emotions. So what if you're a fucking other. So am I. You're no less of a human than I am."

But that's probably not the heart of it either, not the point Noah's trying to make, but it's still shit. "You're place is here, okay?" he says, his voice just as insistent as he holds Noah's hand tight in his. "With us. Right the fuck here."
thedreamthief: (up close)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-06 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
"Trying what?" Ronan asks, not understanding. "Trying to stay?"

The idea pierces somehow, hooks under his skin unpleasantly. Noah shouldn't have to work to want to be with them, to stay in Hywel, to stay in their group. Even now, Ronan remembers the few months where Noah split his time between Hywel and Krem, where it felt he was never around.

Noah was happier then, he thinks. He was happy having someone else, a boyfriend, even if Krem had been a shitty fucking choice, Noah had been happy.

He's still holding Noah's hand, his thumb pressed against Noah's palm.

Ronan knows he should ask if Noah even wants to stay, ask if he needs space from them all for awhile. But he can't. It's selfish, he knows it's fucking selfish, but he can't do it. He doesn't want Noah to go.
thedreamthief: (eyebrow rub)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-06 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
"You are a person," Ronan insists, but his voice is quieter now and it comes out almost like a plea as Noah steps in close.

Instinctively, Ronan wraps his arms around him, cheek pressed the curve of Noah's head, Noah's warm breath ghosting against his neck. He's solid against Ronan's chest, as solid as anything he's ever held before, as solid as anything he's ever dreamed. Maybe it's only possible because of the talisman around his neck, but even when Noah wasn't corporeal, he'd always felt real. He'd always felt alive.

And Ronan doesn't really care how fucked that sounds.

He ducks his head just enough to press a kiss to Noah's hair and closes his eyes as he tightens his hold. "I'm fucking holding you to that, by the way," he says, still trying to calm the itch under his skin. "I'm not fucking letting you go."
thedreamthief: (shadow downward)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-06 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
It's a light touch, a dry, gentle press of warm lips to Ronan's neck.

Ronan closes his eyes against it, against the way it makes his blood run warm and his chest tighten. He'd felt those lips against his own months ago, made the mistake of misinterpreting. He can't do it again despite the ache.

He has Adam. He loves Adam, that hasn't changed. He won't do this to either of them.

Swallowing, he shoves it all away, buries it back down where he can only hope it manages to stay for awhile and finally quirks a smile. "Well, you wouldn't have a camera," he says, trying to lighten things up a little.

thedreamthief: (shadow downward)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-06 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
Noah hears too fucking much. He sees too fucking much. How he can miss the storm under Ronan's skin right now, he has no idea. The spot on his neck still burns.

Warm hands cup his face, holding him in place to stare into Noah's blue eyes.

"Fuck, you know what I'm thinking," he says, his voice nearly a growl, because he doesn't know how to put this into words. He never has. Noah can hear his thoughts and, for once, Ronan almost desperately wants him to so he doesn't have to say it.

A little in love with all of them. If that had been Blue's secret than maybe Ronan's is, A lot in love with three of them.
thedreamthief: (eyebrow rub)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-06 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
The words feel all the more damning spoken out loud and Ronan wrenches back slightly as Noah's hands drift away.

"Shit," he breathes, balling his hands into tight fists at his sides. Because it's not like he doesn't already know how Noah feels, like he doesn't remember the way Noah had yanked away from him at that stupid dance, how his face had clouded over in anger.

How he'd told Adam it wouldn't happen again.

But he can't deny it now, both because it's a fucking blatant lie and because Noah would know anyway.

"Just-- forget it," Ronan decides then, shutting it down before Noah has to be the one to do it. "It's not your fucking problem, okay? I know how this goes down."
thedreamthief: (eyebrow rub)

[personal profile] thedreamthief 2016-09-06 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Noah just stares at him for a long moment, blue eyes blow wide. It's a look Ronan can't read, a look that catches under his chest and twists, grabbing every nerve under his skin along with it.

He tears away before that look can turn cold, before Ronan has to see the anger and disgust as he had months ago.

Cinnamon's heading closer to the far fence, but Ronan turns immediately to head back inside. He hears Noah's voice behind him, a whisper lost in the rush of blood between Ronan's ears. Chicken feed crunches under the soles of his sandals as he makes he steps back into the barn and he's not honestly sure he's even breathing anymore. His chest burns.