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[iwasmore]

Noah felt desolate and adrift. He'd never fought with his friends. Ronan would fight with Blue, Gansey would fight with Adam, Blue would fight with Adam, and every interchangeable combination between the four of them. Noah always managed to stay out of it. Someone would get mad at him, and he'd slump and go quiet and it would blow over. He didn't have the tangle of issues they had; his issues were mostly his corporeal state, and it wasn't like there was anyone to fight with about that.

Seeing Ronan attacking Krem, seeing the both of them fighting like they wanted to tear each other apart, had taken Noah back to a place he never wanted to go. The one thing he never wanted to think about. When you think someone's your best friend, and it turns violent with that person you trusted. Noah knew Ronan could be violent, but not with one of theirs. Krem might not have been Ronan's friend, but he was Noah's, shouldn't that have been enough?

And why, when Noah was so angry with him, did Ronan walking away hurt so much?

Noah had left the park without checking on Cremisius. He hadn't meant to, he just hadn't been able to hold on anymore. Now he found himself outside Hywell. He wasn't even sure how much time had passed between the fight and here. He didn't feel like he had a right to be here; what if Ronan was inside? He didn't want to look at him, right now.

Noah walked away, not sure where he belonged anymore.

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[iwasmore]

"You're right. We're friends," Noah said, soft and apologetic. He doesn't bother trying to hide behind a smile, and his expression falls into something miserable. He wishes he could go back to not existing, but he already doesn't know how long it's been, and Krem...

"I don't know what to do. My friend got into a fight with my boyfriend, and now..." He shakes his head and rubs his cheek over the smudge, staring at the ground. "Everything's wrong."

[sorriest]

We're friends, it's nice to hear it out loud, and I smile at Noah, hoping that it's encouraging. I'm glad he's not upset with me or tired of me or anything like that, but I wish he didn't have to be upset at all. The reason behind it sounds complicated, out of his control. I'm guessing he's caught in the middle.

No wonder I haven't seen him in days.

Slipping my arm around Noah's shoulders, I give him a half hug that way. "It'll blow over, right?" I hope so, anyway. "They're your friends... They can't keep fighting forever?"

[iwasmore]

Noah lets himself tuck into Al's side and take his friends' offered comfort. He knows he should get going, that he has to find Krem, but maybe it's okay to take a little while to get his thoughts together since he's only just now existing.

"They aren't friends with each other, they never were," he says, a dull, gloomy tone to his voice. he rests his cheek on Al's shoulder. "Ronan-- my friend. He's hard to get along with. Things have happened, and he's...angry. He doesn't make other friends." Even though that isn't necessarily true. Ronan had accused him of leaving them behind, but Ronan had other friends too.

"But that's no excuse to fight," he adds. He moves his face from Al's shoulder to look at him, venting. "Especially when I told him I care about Cremisius. If your best friend told you they were dating someone you didn't like, would you go beat them up?"

[sorriest]

It sounds really complicated. I feel my forehead scrunching as I frown, listening to Noah explain the situation. From what he's telling me, Ronan might be jealous. I know the feeling, but I want to think that I wouldn't let something like that drive me to hurt people. I need it to be true.

Before I settle on an answer that should have been easy, I'm quiet, rubbing Noah's arm. Maybe talking to a neutral party is helping him get this off his chest, whether or not I've got any advice worth following to offer him. "No... Of course not." I shake my head. "The important thing should be that you're happy, and it's not like you don't have time for your other friends just because you're dating someone." And even without all sides of the story, I trust Noah's judgment.

"So he's trying to scare Cremisius off...?" Because he sees him as a threat, an intruder, here to take Noah away? Or some other reason?

[iwasmore]

"Exactly. I have time for everyone," Noah says stubbornly. He has more than enough time, it's not like he's doing anything with his life. Or his afterlife as Ronan called it. A bitter taste fills his mouth and he tries to push it down.

"He might be, but it won't work." At least, he hoped not. Part of him is scared that Krem will blame him, and be mad at him. Ronan is his friend, he wouldn't have been messing with Krem if it wasn't for him. Maybe the mess of it is too much. "Ronan is doing a better job of pushing me away," he sighs, going quiet and focusing instead on Al's hand on his arm.

"I should go find Cremisius," he says finally.

[sorriest]

Noah doesn't know what to do, and neither do I. I don't feel like I did anything to help, but I let go of him with a nod, shoving any disappointment into the darkest corner I can find for it. "See you around?"

There's one more thing that I want to say, hopefully something comforting.

"Noah... If Ronan is your best friend, maybe he just needs some time to come around?" If their friendship is important to him, if Noah is, he has to. That makes sense to me. "He knows you. He should trust you."

It's obvious to me that Noah cares about all of his friends; it isn't fair to doubt him.

[iwasmore]

"Yeah, of course. I hope you got some sleep the past two nights." It's a weak tease. Noah is sure Al does just fine without him. Still, it's nice to think that he's doing something to help his friend, even if it is just to keep him company when he can't sleep.

As for Ronan, Noah can't even say at this point. It all came so far out of left field he honestly has no idea what Ronan's thinking anymore.

"We'll see," he says with a faint smile. He can already feel himself fading. He leans in for a quick hug goodbye, and then he disappears completely.

[sorriest]

I got some sleep. That's not a lie. I can't tell Noah the whole truth, or tell him that it's been longer than he thinks, that I was worried about him. He's got enough to deal with as it is.

All I can do is get in another nod and a smile, a hurried hug in return, and then Noah fades from sight. After a second of standing there, I turn around and head off down the street.

I hope he'll be okay.