for Cremisius

[iwasmore]

Noah was so much busier in Darrow at night than he had been back home. Without Ronan around, he occasionally kept Gansey company when he was alone with his insomnia. He had Al to look after, to try and keep him from having nightmares. He checked on Ronan to make sure he wasn't having any nightmares - or dreaming anything dangerous into the world. He didn't check on Ronan when he was at Adam's, though, giving them privacy in case they wanted it. He didn't check on Blue, because she was a girl, and it seemed impolite to show up in her bedroom in the middle of the night.

And then, there was Krem. Noah wasn't trying to be creepy, but he wanted to peek in to check and make sure he was okay. The common theme among everyone here was being displaced, and that alone was enough to cause poor sleep, or even nightmares. And Cremisius had also been a solider, and Noah could imagine that came with it's own set of problems.

The first night Noah checked in on Cremisius, he appeared to be sleeping just fine. Prunam was even curled at the bottom of the bed near his feet. Noah left a small handful of glitter that had been left over from Adam's birthday party on the bedside table and disappeared. The second night, Cremisius was awake, sitting up in bed and looking pensive. Noah wanted to say something, but felt to shy just showing up, and left. The third night, Noah came in the middle of an awful nightmare. Cremisius was making a pained sound, curled in on himself, and Noah could see he mind conjuring blood and the bodies of friends, strewn among rubble and smoke. He tossed, one hand clutching at his chest even in sleep, and Noah's own unbeating, useless heart gave a pang of sympathy, because even if he was no longer alive he could still feel.

Noah joined Krem in bed, too worried to spare a thought for whether he'd want him there or not, too worried to even remember to go corporeal, and stroked his hair in soft, soothing motions. Shh, he whispered, trying to calm Krem's nightmares from growing worse. He didn't have any magic to change thoughts or stop nightmares, but he always hoped his cool touch would soothe and interrupt; like his family dog, when he was a child. Sadie would sometimes woof and growl in her dreams, and if Noah put a gentle hand on her stomach, or stroked her back, the dreams would calm without her truly coming awake, and she'd sleep soundly.

Comments

[krempuff]

"Shit," Krem said, half laughing as he watched Noah's hand appear against his. He wiped at his eyes again, sniffling pathetically. "No. No, I hate crying. I hate..."

He turned around onto his other side, so he could face Noah's chest, though he kept holding the pillow to his chest. He'd slept in a shirt and shorts, because he was cold enough in the nights for it now, but he was still shy of being caught only half dressed. He pressed his face against Noah's and sniffled some more.

[iwasmore]

"I won't look," Noah whispered, careful to keep his eyes on Cremisius' face and no lower. When Cremisius came even closer, his skin warming Noah's, Noah kissed his cheek, the edge of his mouth, his nose, before resting their foreheads together. He let go of Krem's hand to put his arm around him.

"Crying isn't cathartic for you?"

[krempuff]

Krem relaxed, slowly, surprised at how soothing it was for Noah to hold him and shower him in little kisses. He didn't say anything for a little while, just stayed tucked in close and slowly moved the pillow out from between them, wrapped his arms around him as well, held onto him tight as he dared.

The tears didn't come properly, but he continued to sniffle and let out the last of the adrenaline with nervous shakes.

[iwasmore]

Noah held Cremisius just as tightly, nuzzled his face, kissing every so often. He rhythmically rubbed Krem's back, and when the silence felt too heavy and he thought Cremisius could use some distraction, Noah began to sing a quiet, slowed down version of his and Ronan's favorite song.

"Squash one, squash two, squash three, and on and on and on. I set the house on fire, and screamed, 'the world's a storm.' We bought out the whole damn supermarket, and rolled out a whole cart, and inside, there was a metric ton of squash..."

[krempuff]

Krem listened to Noah, his quiet, almost too-slow breath under the noise of Krem's sniffling and then his quiet, slow singing. It was a silly song, the sort that the Chargers would have liked. He smiled a little, showering Noah with little kisses too from time to time.

When he'd finished singing, Krem smiled a little.

[iwasmore]

Noah blushed and nearly fumbled the song the first few times he felt Cremisius' lips on him. He realized, extremely belatedly, that he'd probably crossed a line, climbing into Krem's bed without permission. It wasn't like they were dating. They hadn't even known each other terribly long. So it was a relief, knowing Cremisius wanted him here, that he hadn't overstepped.

He returned the smile, a little shyly. "Adam and Gansey hate that song," he murmured. He wasn't sure Blue had ever heard it to form an opinion.

[krempuff]

"You should teach it to me, sometime," Krem said softly. He tucked under Noah's chin and sighed a little bit.

"You know, that sparkly stuff you left has been everywhere since you left it? I know it was you. I found some in my shoe the other day." There was a smile in his voice though, obvious that he wasn't upset about it.

[iwasmore]

"I will," Noah promised, wondering if he could find a copy somewhere in this place. Maybe he could look it up on his phone, he'd recently discovered it played music along with taking pictures and the texting.

He had the decency to look embarrassed, even though he could hear that Cremisius was teasing. "It's called glitter. Isn't it pretty? You were asleep. I just...um. I like to make sure everyone's okay. At night."

[krempuff]

Krem smiled a little and leaned up to give Noah a very soft kiss on the lips. "You should wake me up, next time you come. So I know, for sure, that you've been here."

He yawned, a little bit, because he was exhausted, but now he didn't want to sleep. The nightmare was still plaguing him, and Noah was here, and it seemed much more important to be awake than to sleep.

[iwasmore]

"I wouldn't want to wake you up if you were sleeping peacefully, but I'll try to be here if you aren't," Noah said, his eyes half-closed, not from sleepiness, but from how peaceful he felt. He kissed Cremisius softly after he yawned, and combed his fingers through his hair.

"Maybe you should try to sleep again? I'll stay here and make sure it doesn't get too bad." Selfishly, he didn't want Krem to sleep, but he also didn't want him to be tired in the morning.

[krempuff]

Krem ran his fingers up Noah's hands gently, sighing as Noah runs his fingers through his hair. Though he's still sniffling a little bit, it's cleared up a little bit, and he's mostly just breathing slowly and deeply again.

"No, I'm awake now," he said, and laughed softly. He tucked in, close against Noah, despite the chill of his body. It made him shiver a little, but not in an unpleasant way. "I don't like to sleep after I've had those dreams, anyway."

[iwasmore]

"Okay, but you should nap tomorrow, then." Noah gently wiped the moisture from the corner of Krem's eyes. He might not have cried very much, but there was still a little. He moved his palm between them to feel his heartbeat and realized there was a breast there and quickly pulled his hand back. He blushed, actual almost-pink. "Sorry! I just wanted to feel your heart, not-- private things..."

[krempuff]

Krem nodded a little at the suggestion, though he wound't take it. He had work--or, if he didn't, he'd go in to see Tris and the others at the gym, anyway, because he didn't do much else with his time. He leaned into the affectionate touch to his cheek a bit.

Noah jerking his hand back from his chest startled him a little. He'd barely noticed his hand moving down. He blinked at him a second, and then smiled a little, reaching for his hand gently.

"It's okay. I mean, I know they're there."

[iwasmore]

Noah let his hand relax in Cremisius', but he was still embarrassed. "That doesn't mean I can touch them," he forced himself to say. In general, he didn't talk about...breasts. Or sex. Or any of that. Sometimes he and Ronan would tell dirty jokes, but they were just obnoxious, stupid things.

[krempuff]

Krem looked at him softly, confused for a moment. He watched Noah's face, worried he might start to get fuzzy around the edges if he asked the wrong question now.

"You don't have to touch them," he finally said, with an airy dismissiveness to the gesture like Noah hadn't done it at all. "But you can, if you'd like to. If you're curious."

[iwasmore]

Noah's eyes widened and he almost went invisible. He didn't, though, but his voice squeaked a little when he replied. "I can? Like...you want me to?"

[krempuff]

Krem sighed a soft little laugh. He was still holding Noah's hand, and he lifted it, kissing his fingertips gently. After a moment, he looked at Noah and smiled.

"Just...just no touching below the waist. Everything else is alright." It felt like a silly limitation, after he'd said it, but the nerves were coiled in his stomach again. He leaned up and kissed Noah softly.

[iwasmore]

Noah wasn't going to complain. It was like the eighth wonder of the world revealing itself to him that he was allowed to touch anything. To him, it was amazing that there was a person who even wanted to kiss him. Like, more than once.

He forgot about touching for a moment when Cremisius kissed him, melting into the kiss, marveling at how different it felt from the other day when elfroot had been involved. He didn't forget completely, but he also didn't rush. He didn't want to come across as some fumbling teenager (even though he kind of was).

Noah traced the side of Krem's jaw with his fingertips, then trailed them down his neck, the lightest touch to make him shiver. He touched Krem's shoulder next, and finally moved his hand down the cotton shirt, splaying his fingers to cup Krem's breast in his hand. He let out the tiniest moan, and kept his hand there, unmoving, just feeling the weight of it in his palm.

[krempuff]

Krem did shiver, but he also shuffled in against Noah's body, like it might provide him with some warmth though he knew it would not. He sighed into Noah's kiss a little, opening his mouth to it a little bit. He was still nervous about kissing, about seeming foolish or inexperienced with it. But Noah seemed nervous too, and so that helped to ease things.

Noah's hand was cool through Krem's shirt, and his skin prickled a little, responding to the chilliness as well as the light, almost teasing contact. He sighed against Noah's lips, smiling at the soft noise he made, his body thrilling with it a little bit.

[iwasmore]

Noah was nervous, he didn't want to scare Cremisius again. He didn't want to mess it up. He tried to listen for a sign that Cremisius was getting anxious, or that he was doing something he didn't like. What he did realize was that he seemed to have more experience kissing than Krem, so he took control just a little, encouraging Krem's mouth open just a little bit more so he could dip his tongue in to meet Krem's.

It was his hand he didn't quite know what to do with. He could feel the nipple hard beneath the shirt, whether from the coolness of his hand or just his touch in general. Noah experimentally moved his thumb against it, adding a little pressure, a little friction.

[krempuff]

Krem smiled against the kiss, letting Noah lead the kiss how he wanted. It was a tender thing, without any rush, and just a little bit sloppy. Krem found he quite liked it, and the way it felt, and the way it made him feel.

He lifted a hand to Noah's hand on his chest as he cautiously traced at his nipple, slowly adjusting his hold to a more solid grip. With his other hand, he cupped Noah's cheek.

"It's okay."

[iwasmore]

Noah's eyes opened halfway, and he was caught between being turned on, and being embarrassed. His body felt warm all over, even though he didn't think it had actually managed to make it warm.

"Sorry, I don't know what feels good to you," he admitted, because he owed it to Krem to be honest. Everything felt good to him, but that didn't mean Krem felt the same way.

[krempuff]

Whatever flush he had in his body was lost in the darkness, but Krem could feel just the hint of it, beating back against the chill of him. Krem ran his fingers along Noah's smooth jaw and fine cheeks.

"This feels nice," he assured gently. It did feel good, to kiss and be kissed, and go slowly and gently. "I'll tell you if something doesn't."

[iwasmore]

"Okay," Noah whispered. He leaned in to kiss Cremisius again, giving a gentle squeeze with his hand before running his palm up Krem's arm and along his shoulder. He moved his hand to the small of Krem's back, then, after hesitating at the hem of his shirt, slid his hand underneath. He wanted, most of all, to feel skin, and traced his hand along Krem's spine, still kissing him with soft, lazy kisses.

"You feel so good," he murmured against Krem's mouth. "It's a little overwhelming."

[krempuff]

Krem shivered a little, kissing Noah back and wondering curiously at how very real and present he seemed. He didn't suppose that Noah would feel any other way, though, even if he did sometimes go fuzzy around the edges and could disappear.

His chilly fingers, under Krem's shirt, made Krem gasp slightly. He shivered, and laughed a little, but he smiled into the kiss.

"I'll try to be more underwhelming next time."